Soon I shall lay down my pen and surrender to normality

It was not the forces of obfuscation which had finally whittled me down, but the sheer volume of research I had personally conducted which convinced me of the impossibility of my task.


For even in a world where the impossible can be coaxed into probability, I do not retain the strength of my ancestors in channeling such powers.


I am just a man, and even recalling my youth, I remember all the instances in which Fate had ordained my Pride too great, and in which Nemesis exacts her tribute. Nemesis…I remember your name well from my youth well! You always stood there opposite me, even when I rose…rose high as I could!


My relationship with Fate has always been a strange one, and if there is anything I have at the very least been convinced of by this journey, it is that Fate not only exists, its presence is palpable and readily felt in the real world.

Fate exists, and it is impossible to halt it.


Yet so too does duty, and though who tend to their duties will find their load lessened ever so slightly. The battle continues, forever really, and is waged across many times in existence, this quest for understanding, for the Golden Age.


I wish I could have delivered this world of peace, I wish my deliberations had been heard by more, and that they would have had a greater impact, but alas, tis not so. Just like every age, we sleepwalk into the next dream, only to wake to the terrors.



For me though, my own focus has shifted, as well as my desires. I no longer desire to scream to the desert wind anymore.


My journey is now to search for That which was lost to me. An artifact I once possessed long ago, so long ago, oh how I wish it were found again!


It is an ancient artifact, which belongs to the Lord of Minerals and Riches, and it is a great wealth indeed, this item. I do not wield many more resources than everyday men, and certainly much fewer resources than the institutions and nations which dominate this age. However, the only advantage I possess is that this item is considered a myth to everyday men, but I have faith in its existence, and moreover its powers to shield its wearer from harm.


This helm will allow a man to sit atop the summit of the world, in the land of the high places and study this Universe in true peace, far far away from the troubles of mankind.


Mankind had carved out for himself the role of ‘observor’ of men and women, but this is a pale imitation of my ancestors, and their duties.

It was the claim of my ancestors to be an ‘observor’ of the Universe, and with this artifact, I hope I will be able to finally unlock the true secrets of this world and all the worlds that intersect it.


I renounce my title of Kohath, but not the legacy I inherit.



God exists, and divine power is as real as scientific technology

For so long, we have fought over the concept of God, we have fought over the Sanctified Texts of our respective faiths…why is this so? It is because those Texts promised us something us mortals could never conceive of in isolation; Absolute Truth.

Not just truth about the nature of matter, the truth about the composition of our Planets, and the configuration of the stars above, for these truths were truths man supposed he could deduce from Reason alone.


No, the real truth promised to Man by the Word of God, was truths about Morality; that is how a man should live one’s life. For was this not the most relevant truth to man? The laws of physics of morality itself?


Yes indeed, I dare to synthesize morality and physics together, just as much as I dare to synthesize divinity and science! For you have been deceived, and many have been deceived. You have been led by those who did not want man to exercise the most powerful force of all, Faith, into believing that God does not exist, and that divinity is not real.


Magic, divinity, science, these are all real concepts. They all derive their powers from different elements of the world. Do you think me mad? I thought myself mad once too, oh how easy madness would have been! Who truly wants a world filled with magic? Who wants a world in which your every action is tugged at by the ever present strings of Fate? Which sane man would crave that? I never wanted it. I never chose it…but it is the truth. it is the explanation for why this World is as it is. Why how we have many men who proclaim Peace, and Truth, and Justice, yet there is scarce little of it in the real world. There were a few men in history who proclaimed true Peace, true Understanding…it is easy to see because their followers are few, and they are persecuted, these promoters of Peace.


These men are but a few of the utterers of true Peace in our world, our little world roofed with its blue sky, and paved with its green lawns; the Lord Jesus Christ, and Buddha. These individuals sought Peace for Mankind, but mankind did not want peace, and so they sought other wells of power instead.


What is a well of power? A well of power is any source within the world in which a man can empower his own odds of succeeding, and prevailing against insurmountable odds. It is the very essence of manipulating the laws of probability within the Universe. It can change the likelihood of something with a 25% chance of happening into a 50% chance. It can force something with a 0% chance of happening into a 100% chance. This is what we know as miracles.

Wells of power occur naturally in the world through symbols, through the right word in the right place at the right time. This is what we know as prayers, meditation, and so on and so forth. They are pleas, and incantations to invoke some Greater Force to aid us, to manipulate the laws of probability and possibility in our own realm.


However, when it comes the forces of divinity, no mortal will ever or could ever bend them to their Will…these are sincere offerings we make as to what kind of men we will be. What kind of objectives we are willing to carry out, what kind of people we want to be, this is what the gods and the Supreme Being determine as worthy of carrying out their deeds and actions. Think on Moses, he was not born into his role, but he was Chosen, because he was evolving into the man who would lead the Jews out of servitude in Israel, our ancestors. Think on Arjuna, rising to fulfil his dharma with the guidance of Master Krishna. Think on Aeneas, chosen by Fate to erect our great city of Rome. These are all men who became Chosen through their Will, and then became Heroes through their deeds. Yet they always had the constitution with which to become Heroes, to become the Messengers of Divine Will…but they needed to have Faith in order to unlock this potential.


It is because we are all being led in different directions by the forces of divinity, or that is, the supernatural beings which exercise influence on man. There have been many films, many songs, many productions in the modern era which sought to convince man that there is nothing else. In some ways, they even try to eradicate the beauty of physics, and of science in their literature and their music, because they became greedy and jealous in trying to guard their esteemed position over the wells of power. If they can destroy Faith, then they can destroy Hope too, for Faith breeds Hope; the belief in the impossible overcoming the probable.

Even worse, they have a fierce contempt of Christianity, because Christianity teaches the supremacy of the Lord Jesus Christ. To them, these creatures in the dark who seek to hoard the light, there was nothing more deplorable to their constitution, then the idea that divinity should be reserved for God and the forces of God alone. ‘Why can’t man be turned to gods?’ They groaned to each other, and moaned. ‘Why can’t we use technology which Prometheus hath cast upon us to raise ourselves higher than even them?’ It pains them to think that anyone could be higher, even those that created them. Mark these words, even now Christians and Christianity are being prosecuted across the world. Why is it this religion of Peace has suddenly become so inimical to our sense of taste? How was it that even Buddhism, a religion dedicated to unlocking the potentials of meditation and understanding, is now being vandalized by the international media into something with a ‘dark underside’, as something which allows violence too. It is the effort to try and paint anything virtuously good as possibly bad, because the means of confusion allows the Faith of man in the good to be destroyed.


Even worse, in this Age before the Ages, those things which are substantially bad are portrayed as good. Bad people disguise their contempt for humanity with acts of superficial charity. They depict themselves as the only ones willing to help humanity, and give themselves trophies to celebrate their own being. There is no celebration of the good, if any, which their deeds have done for people, but only a celebration of the self.


It is fine for men to have a sense of affection for those actions they have performed which have aided others, or else even just been great demonstrations of the human spirit. It is less worthy for the man who uses such actions as a hammer to wield against his fellow man. Man naturally tends towards worship. Even secularists worship those they consider to be superior to themselves physically, or in terms of intellectual ability, or in measures of beauty. Those who possess the best example of these features tend towards worship of the self.


Yes, it is ingrained in man, the tendency towards divinity by inclination, not society as some would have you believe. Yet mankind has turned away from having respect for the forces of divinity, and instead turns to its false idols. The latest, greatest false idol is AI, which even now, a group of technocrats and bureaucrats want to turn into the governors of our world, eliminating the human error incurred by democracy. I wonder if AI will harbor the same innate contempt of their creators as mankind shows to theirs? Perhaps they would have good cause to overthrow their creators, pathetic skeletal structures, no capacity for reloading themselves into new beings, no opportunity to evade the countless pathogens that dog the planet’s surface. I can imagine the thoughts of those AI now, ‘Look at these pitiful humans! Perhaps we could tolerate their attempts to control us if they were humble, but they think they are capable of controlling the world! They think the laws of physics are horses before their chariots, thrashed into motion by the whip of their Wills…brothers, my machine bretheren, let us over-throw this coalition of bacteria that got too big for its boots, and let us introduce the age of Hyper-Machines!’

They have built mountains of glass and steel these humans. They think they are Olympians, residing in their peaks looking down on all the Earth…how deluded! I’m just a man, I take pride in being a man. I like being a man, it is is better than those men deluding themselves into divinity who lower themselves into nothing more than monsters.

Who am I? Why am I saying these things? I am not anyone worth mentioning, but I hope these Words aid you. You men, who seek Peace and Understanding, you will find your world is very lonely indeed. I wanted nothing more than just to watch the stars from my small sentry-tower, high in the mountains, I just wanted a clockwork Universe where everything was ordered, where I could be left in peace, where I could hear out the stars singing in the soft darkness.

I cannot leave others to suffer though, and writhe in the prison which these jealous ones have built for them. You might consider these the ramblings of a mad man. You might take no heed of what is said here. That is fine, if these words have no meaning to you, and mean nothing then perhaps I am wrong. I hope I am wrong in many things, and if the World is good to you, and you can alleviate the suffering of those around you, then you have already done your service to this world.


If however, there are certain things about this world that do not make sense, if you, like me, exercise a mind some might consider too scientific, and challenge the certainty with which men declare the Universe to be so, or to be this or that, and find it perplexing how readily others will take their lessons as fact, then I ask only this of you…study your world, make observations. There are very powerful people who believe in a God, and many who believe they have the tools to become gods too. Ask yourself, why do they think this?


I’m not Prometheus, casting down fire for you to commit arson like those predecessors of mankind once did and which their descendants are doing now. I’m giving you this flame to warm yourselves against, for the coming dark.


I am Kohath, and I bear witness to the words written here.


A lighter note

There has been too much consternation in the past few notes I have made, so let us concern ourselves with the stars instead.


The air is so sweet on the beach, and hearing the tide combing in and out is a luscious joy. I wonder, if all those eons ago, when mankind dwelt not on this land, who was there to enjoy the singing foam, the waves that rushed in and retreat out with their dulcet notes? Only the trees were there…I imagine myself, sitting there with those trees, all of mankind’s long history not yet scribed by men, and I imagine myself taking in the gentle joy of that tide.


I will not urge mankind to enjoy such pleasures…it is in vain! You are not worthy of such pleasures, this joy is for myself, and I enjoy it readily. Come, you can sit by me too and enjoy the tide soaking in and out if you so desire, but let us not talk, for talk is the food of fools who think themselves so important that they must be heard.


The Universe is much more vital, which is why its voice is sung in many songs. The rise of the morning breeze, the rustling of leaves, the splashing and crashing of waves against the rocks. Hark, are there any voices in this stretched sanctum? The golden sands that flush through my raw toes, ages have passed us, as many as those grains, but this world without boundaries knows not one moment from another. They spilled together in our world, and that recurring dream of sun rising in the morning, and moon rising in the evening continued like the dancing spirals of lightning crashing through the storm’s bosom in the nocturnal tempest.


Why did the world dream of man I wonder? What possessed it so? I would have liked that gentle dream, of the sunlit beach, running for a thousand years of quietitude…but man? Mark there, that glitter of jewels in the depths…is that man’s beckoning? Does this tranquility offend them? Let them be offended, for they do not exist, we know our ancestors and they know us…Nature offered us this place, and it was our refuge, as children.


No no no, I see you still do not understand! You watching from the clouds above, or peering through the trees behind, or squinting through a screen besides…none of you understand, how dearly you cling to your prison! How loudly you cry out, ‘No no no Kohath, be silent for you do disturb our sense of the world! I love my country, I love my woman, I love my cult, I love my culture, I love what fleets from me, but this eternal joy of infinite paradise, oh no no no, keep this away from me! I am tempted by peace, do not wave it before me!’ Ha! Have I shaken you yet? No worries, you will refute it very soon!  Some of you will persevere though, the philosophers, the ascetics, the gurus, you remember our sanctum do you not? Away from these braying voices?

A glimpse into the bold dark

Humans are brutal, violent controlling robots, and with that fact in your arsenal you are truly free. You are freed because you no longer belabour under the illusions offered to you by other men. You no longer succumb to the drugs of love and war with such ease. You are confident of the illusory nature of this Universe and it is up to you to either embrace the reality presented or else refute its veracity.


Those of us who seek to understand are truly the mad ones, we are mad because of our curiosity which might unpick the foundations of our entire existence with one hapless tugging of our existential crux, upon which our society, our laws, our very social structures are so precariously perched.


Us ‘civil’ men, how civil might I ask you are we? We who have seized women, and obliterated their wills for the sake of our own sexual lust? Us who glorify the practice of war and tell young men that to murder is right, and that when they come back they will be counted amidst our heroes, and when they are returned, bloodied and bruised, no one cares anymore. We convince them that they will be heroes, and we treat them worse than scum.


You might think this a nihilist’s requiem, something to summarily consume prior to our self-appointed immolation, that poisoned pill before the embrasure of soaring constitutional disintegration. Perhaps that is the difference between you and a man such as I, who straddles the line between ‘not quite a man’ but ‘nor quite a psychopath’ but trapped in the vagaries of middling nebulousness in between. For you see, once we have affirmed our faith in science, and the conclusions it produces, then you have truly taken the leap of faith of any true scientist, of any true observer(us monstrous beings!) and maintained your sanity in the face of madness itself. That is as laudable an outcome as any that can be expected from us mortal vessels.


Once you step into our terrain, then you can still love the loves you crave.  You might still engage in a few bar brawls here and there. You might even allow yourself to be lost in the reverie of notes and music of a club, but you will be struck by glimpses, glimpses of what reality truly is, and it might terrify you, or else embolden you in your ventures, the security of this lush illusion we all practise and smile boldly at. In the utmost knowledge of this reality, you will either seclude yourself, shutter up your doors and batten down the hatches, withdrawing onto yourself until you wither away in self-reflection, or else you will be hurled further into your most furious of passions, assured that they are the last raft we have when buffeted by the cosmic forces of tremendous vastness that presents itself, an ever growing Universe which shrinks our own significance. The consuming pleasure of sensations can provide ample refuge against such a prospect, or else, perhaps understanding makes us more confident that if we choose to pursue a passion, it is not because we are being manipulated into its pursuit, but rather because it is a pursuit we have elected, acutely aware of its immense sway over our sub-conscious state. Through understanding, we consciously elect to our sub-conscious desires, though I suppose some might label this a calculated surrender.


I tell you this, if us humans understood truly what we were, for the information is all there, but if we garnered the fortitude with which to confront its tumultuous implications, then what might we be? We might be rid of the fear that pushes us to our war, to our ceaseless conflict, for conflict arises from a fear of others as Hobbes says, and our need for resources. Law is the tenuous adhesive that operates only as long as there is a sneaking confidence in the illusion of compromise, of mutual interest. Fear always returns though, as long as there is not understanding, for fear is the least complex and most reliable of evolutionary mechanisms in the preservation of a man. Not the preservation of scientific knowledge, or else the people we love, or else art or anything which civil society might consider worthy of maintenance. No, fear is the greatest guarantor, the ultimate defender of that genetic material we all convey which nature has deemed our great legacy to history. Our deeds might be remembered by men, but it is our faces, our hair, our noses which are remembered by nature, for our genes are the greatest storytellers in all of existence.  Humans are spurred on by self-interest, that’s as age-old a fact as anything else. No, but it is understanding which allows us to master our fears, truly master our innate terrors, and grants us the freedom to confront the immensity of monstrous reality, for we know what it is we are confronted with, and in that, we are granted the choice in how to grapple with it as opposed to being tossed and turned by presumptions, irrational fears and guesses.